Love of a woman
by Adsagsona
Summary: Spike is back from the dust. When he walks into a bar he hears a song that reminds him of certain people. Songfic. R&R please :o).
1. Default Chapter

Love of a woman  
  
AN: Spike is back from the dust. In a bar in LA he hears a song that reminds him of certain people. Songfic.  
  
Spike was feeling tired. The whole fire, crumble to a cinder-dust thing had left him exhausted. He had woken up at the old school of Sunnydale, hours or maybe days after he had burned. At first he had thought he was in hell, but with the lack of a devil and other creatures he had thrown that idea out of the window. A few curse words later he had been on his feet and looked around. He had known that there would be nobody in dear old Sunnydale who would know him.  
  
So he had decided to go to LA, just to annoy Angel. With a smile he had walked out of the remains of the school and was glad it was dark. He hadn't thought much about the amulet or what he had done for the world. He had always been the kind of vampire who acted first and fuck all consequences. Besides, he had wanted to do it. Not for the world or for himself. . . okay, of course he had done it for himself! He wanted to live in a cozy world, not in hell or be dead. Maybe it wasn't worth dying for. . . but she was.  
  
He had refused to think about it longer. He had spotted a convertible with the top down along the street. He had been a few blocks from the school and he couldn't believe his luck. Hotwiring had never been a problem and soon he was an his way to LA.  
  
Outside a bar in the middle of the city ha had stopped. Caritas II? Quite an odd name for a bar but he could use a beer, or a whisky. . . or both. Spike sat at the bar when a green fellow walked up the stage. Great, he not only had walked into a demon bar, but a karaoke demon bar! Just what he needed.  
  
"Hello pumpkins, hope you're all feeling alright. Because some of you are a bit afraid to just come up here and do your thing, I'll start for you. Maestro?" The green demon seemed friendly. . . little too friendly. He knocked his scotch back and wanted to order his second when the song came floating towards him.  
  
To really love a woman  
  
To understand her-you gotta know her deep inside  
  
Spikes mind wandered back to the past. To the moment he first met Buffy. He was all witty and wanting to attack. But god, how she launched at him, she wasn't scared one bit. And then Joyce. . . He shook his head, almost on the brink of tears. With a violent sob he pushed his tears back and continued to think the more happy memories of Buffys mother. How she wielded that axe to protect her daughter. He would have sworn that he could smell her fear, but still she stood her ground. When she died. . . he had been sad. She was a kind and decent person, she didn't deserve to die. He had said goodbye to her at her grave, a few nights after the funeral. He sighed deeply.  
  
Hear every though - see every dream N' Give her wings when she wants to fly  
  
That demon sure knew what to sing. This words described his Dark Goddess perfectly. He rarely had understood exactly what she tried to say, but he had always held and comforted her. He would have given her wings if she had desired it. But who was he kidding? His Princess had never need of wings, she flew across the entire world in her dreams. The dreams were she named all the stars the same. He shuddered, no need to think about that poof. He listened further to the song.  
  
Then when you find yourself lyin' helpless in her arms Ya know you really love a woman  
  
Spike smiled at one memory of Angel. He had wanted revenge on him but eventually ended up talking to Joyce about Dru. It had been so much fun to taunt Angel, to make faces at him. When the Slayer. . . no, Buffy. . . had come in and pinned him beneath her, the stake at his heart, he had known he loved her. The way she had acted then was a vampire worthy. Except for the not killing him for which he was thankful, although he had never showed her that.  
  
When you love a woman you tell her That's she really wanted  
  
Oh, he had told her that, repeatedly. He doubted if she had ever heard, really heard and reacted to it. Except for the time they got engaged. HE had told her she'd make him the happiest man on earth and she had been so happy. She had actually squealed her answer. It had been a spell but for a little while he was in his personal heaven. 


	2. chapter two

Love of a woman II  
  
When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one  
  
Cuz she needs somebody to tell her That's it's gonna last forever  
  
There was only one person that had caught him in his love for Buffy. Dawn, sweet little bit. All the others had looked at him with malice, but she had liked him. When she came to his crypt that night to talk, he had let her stay because he felt her loneliness. Maybe she had felt it too. Buffy had come to collect her and he knew by that look she had she didn't like it one bit. But still she had trusted him with the Nibblet. Dawn had told him afterwards she had accused her sister of having a crush. Of course Buffy hadn't confessed, got angry and bright red. He smiled.  
  
So tell me have ever really -  
  
Really really ever loved a woman?  
  
Had he ever loved a woman totally in all his unlife? It seemed so.  
  
To really love a woman  
  
Let her hold you Til y know how she needs to be touched  
  
The first time she had let him touch her without any kind of violence or a spell, was when she had heard her mother was ill. He had gone to her with the intention to kill her, he admitted that. She had hurt him and he hadn't cared if he died in his attempt to kill her. But when he saw her there, looking so hopeless, he just sat next to her. It was cold comfort, but he knew she was glad someone was there.  
  
You've gotta breathe her - really taste her  
  
Til you can feel her in you blood  
  
Now that was a line for a vampire. He had never had the privilege to taste Buffys blood. Another thing to be jealous about at the big poof. She had offered him her blood willingly, the idiot. And dracula, the stupid bastard. He stille hadn't payed his debt. It was too late now.  
  
N' when you see your unborn children in her eyes  
  
Ya know ya really love a woman  
  
Unborn children? Yeah right, like a vampire could ever be a father! But a Slayer was never meant to have children anyway. For Buffy Dawn was the closest she'd even come to a child. She always did what she could, even after Joyce. . . She died for that girl and she didn't hesitate one bit. That was his fault, he had to protact the little bit. How he had grieved for her and finally did his duties for Dawn. All was for her, to repay his guilt, even when she came back. She had become his soul when she callen him William. His. . . craziness and stupidity ended it. Another thing to be blamed for.  
  
When you love woman  
  
You tell her that she's really wanted When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one  
  
He had told her. A few nights before the big finale he had. She had looked so defeated. So he had told her his honest opinion. Buffy had everything going for he, she was the greatest Slayer of all time. He loved her, but still he believed his own words. Nobody was a match for Buffy, even Angelus couldn't break her. She was the one.  
  
Cuz she needs somebody to tell her  
  
That you'll always be together  
  
Her words of goodbye 'I love you' were etched in his mind. He knew better then to think they were true and it would've hurt too much to leave her behind. So with his usual cocky grin he had sent her away. She was safe and that was all that mattered.  
  
So tell me have you ever really  
  
Really really ever loved a woman?  
  
Spike smiled sadly and didn't notice Lorne coming up to him.  
  
"Hello hun."  
  
"What?" He looked to his side. The green demon sat beside him.  
  
"So, have you?"  
  
Spike knew exactly what he meant.  
  
"I guess I did, mate. Still do."  
  
"Just don't tell Angelcakes, he's majorly ticked off."  
  
"Will do." He grinned.  
  
He walked out of the bar. Angelcakes? He was going to have so much fun in LA.  
  
THE END 


End file.
